maybe someday, love
by FeatherxxDreams
Summary: Loki is tired. Post-Avengers, Thorki/Thunderfrost if you want to see it.


**Title:** maybe someday, love

**Rating: **PG13, just for safety

**Fandom:** Avengers

**Character/Pairing:** Loki, Thor, and Thorki because I wrote it with that intention but it didn't quite happen like that.

**Notes:** _Post-Avengers_. Saw the movie thrice, just had to write something for my bby!

** Words:** 1719

**Summary:** Loki is tired.

Loki is tired. He is completely worn and all he wants to do is find a nice quiet corner of the universe and sleep for centuries. He thinks it will probably be better if he doesn't wake up.

The cold bite of Jötunheim stings against his skin, but Loki does not move from his seat on the ice steps of the once-palace. There are no more Frost Giants in this section of the frozen world, and Loki knows not why. He can't bring himself to care, though he assumes it probably has something to do with Thor in the time that passed between his falling from the Bifrost and his return to Ásgarð.

Protocol on Ásgarð is different than it is on Midgard, so Loki is no longer bound by metal chains and a gag, rather he is allowed to freely roam, so long as he does not return to Midgard. Frankly, Loki has no desire to return to Earth. Not when _The Avengers_ are still alive and kicking.

Loki closes his eyes, willing his skin to turn blue. It makes the cold much less bitter. Loki supposes there are advantages to being part Jötnar since he spends so much of his time in the frozen realm now-a-days.

Still, his alone time is, as always, interrupted by a certain Thunder-wielding Æsir.

"Loki!"

Loki opens his eyes with an internal sigh. Thor, again.

The golden son of Odin is coming up the steps, red cloak billowing in the cold wind. He has ice articles forming in his hair, better kept now than it was on Midgard. Thor, as usual, looks conflicted to find Loki in his Jötnar skin even though he finds the trickster that way more often than not.

"Thor," He says petulantly.

"Here again, brother?" Thor asks.

"I am not your brother," Loki says. His words have lost their bite with the number of times he's said them. They no longer sound like his own words, just lines from a script he wrote eons ago.

"This again?" Thor asks, coming to stand in front of Loki, "You are always my brother."

Loki scoffs, turning his eyes away from Thor and his blinding emotions. "I don't believe Odin thinks so."

"Father takes time to forget, and longer to forgive. You know this." Thor sits casually beside him, "He does not understand why you did what you did here on Ásgarð."

"And you think you do?" Loki does not try to put more distance between himself and Thor. he knows the Thunderer will only scoot closer.

"I do not." Thor shakes his head, "But I know you did it for a reason you believed was right, and I cannot fault you for following your heart, though you did go about it a rather ill way."

"I attempted to murder you, Thor._ Twice_." Loki insists.

"Thrice if you count Midgard for anything," For some reason, Thor sounds almost amused. Like this is all some game. Loki would not be surprised if that's what Thor did believe. the warrior was raised on constant battle, it would make sense for him to enjoy Loki giving a challenge every so often.

"You are a ridiculous oaf. Leave me to my thoughts."

"Loki, if you hide away here nothing will ever be solved."

"Maybe I don't want anything to be solved," Loki snaps, "Not everything can vanish with a few forgiving words and a bowed head. I will still be _Laufeyson_ and a stain on Odin's house."

"No, Loki!" Thor leans closer to him, "You will not be a stain. Who gives you these thoughts?"

"I do," Loki replies, "It does not take a genius to see how the Æsir see me. I've told you before-"

"Yes, 'the monster they tell children of at night.' You've said, "Thor sounds unhappy, "But not everyone believes that is what you are. Furthermore, few people know of your blood-relation to Laufey. Only our parents and Heimdall know you were born a Jötnar."

"If you believe that, then you obviously still pay no attention to the whispers at court."

"Because they are just whispers!" Thor insists.

"Whispers hold meaning Thor!"

"Only if you allow them to!"

Loki shakes his head in silence because_ when will Thor ever understand?_ and looks away from his would-be brother. The wind rattles against his skin in a burst of sudden cold and Loki wonders when his skin faded back to Æsir.

"Loki...I would have you listen to me," Thor sounds uncharacteristically cautious, "Not simply hear. _Listen_."

"What choice do I have if you will not leave me alone?" Loki bites.

Thor pretends not to hear his bitterness, "Brother...Loki, what happened on Midgard...what we both did to each other...what you did to my friends...I should like to understand why."

Loki snorts, "Why? You already know the answer to that. They had the Tesseract and I wanted it."

"You wanted it only because of the Chitauri!" Thor raises his voice over the wind until it dies down, as if bowing to him as well, "Loki, you were not yourself on Midgard. You were acting in a way I have never seen before. One moment you were the Loki I grew up with and in the next you would turn into someone I could not recognize." Thor says,

"I believe you did not act all on your own. You had no purpose for your actions. These Chitauri...they held something over you, did they not? What was it?"

Loki shifts away from Thor. He didn't expect the Thunderer to catch on to his emotions so well. He thought he had hidden them away quite nicely, all things considered. Anyone who didn't fear the Chitauri's leader was a fool, after all, and Loki was no fool. He should have never let Thor talk to his heart on the Stark Tower roof. He should have never let Thor see his weaknesses.

"You are imagining things again, brother."

"And you have not called me brother for a long time, so I do not think I am." Thor counters.

Loki stands swiftly, striding down the steps. Thor gets up just as fast and follows, catching Loki by the forearm and halting him.

"Loki!" Thor urges, "You can confide in me! I will not judge you!"

Loki tries to wrench his arm from Thor's grasp but Thor doesn't budge, "I hardly care about your judgement!"

"Loki, stop!"

Loki freezes in his struggling out of habit and mentally curses himself for doing so.

"Even if you do not want to tell me your fears, at least tell me something! I brought you back so you could be happy. So you could see that Father and Mother do not care if you are not their true son! That I do not care that you are not my true brother!"

"Happy?" Loki's voice cracks the slightest bit, "Happy? How do you suppose I am to be happy here? I hate Ásgarð and Jötunheim and all of these miserable realms! You want me to tell you something? Very well! I hate the Allfather and I hate Heimdall and your warrior friends and I hate being a Frost Giant and nothing but your _damned shadow_!"

Loki's arm is stinging where Thor is gripping harder now, "And I wish I could use all of the magic in my arsenal to make you hate me as much as I hate them! But you don't! _You_ never hate me and I hate that! I hate that you are impossible to hate, you arrogant, _stupid_ fool!"

Loki is breathing harshly, glaring between furiously blinking his eyes so water doesn't well in them. Thor is staring mutely at him, blue eyes boring into the remains of Loki's soul. Loki had no idea what Thor is seeing in it, but he guesses it will be tragic and grotesque.

"...Loki, I could never hate you. We are one half of the same whole. I am the...arrogant, stupid fool and you are the cunning, cowardly genius-"

"_Cowardly_?"

"You run from all your pain and your hate and you hide here in the cold like you belong here. It may be your birth home, Loki, but you do not belong here."

"I do not_belong_ anywhere."

"You belong with me." Thor bellows, "Home! With the people who love you!"

"No one loves me!"

"I love you!"

Loki's face twists, "You love everyone. Do not spout such sentiment at me."

Thor gives Loki a good tug and suddenly he is crushing Loki in a tight, warm embrace. Loki wiggles to get out of it, feeling an awkward catch jump into his throat and climb its way up. His eyes are starting to sting and his mind is screaming at him desperately to escape.

"Let go of me! Let go, you brute!"

"No!" Thor says firmly, "I will not."

"Thor, release me now!"

"I refuse!"

They stay in this stalemate of tugging and grasping for a few minutes before Loki just gives up. Thor is too warm and too bright and too _good_, and he can't fight that anymore.

Loki goes slack in Thor's grip, inevitably allowing the bigger man to pull Loki closer to his chest. His nose is pressed close to Loki's ear and he's hurriedly speaking, hoping Loki is listening, "It's okay, Loki. Everything will be okay. I'll keep you safe,"

Loki isn't aware of it until Thor's soft words, but he's crying. He can't even wipe away his tears, Thor is squeezing him so tight.

"I know you may not believe me, Loki, but I do love you. I love you dearly."

Loki sniffs, "I know, you fool."

Loki also knows that this won't change everything. He still has to regain Odin's trust - something he does not want to do - and he has to keep his promise to stay off Midgard until the mortals Thor is friends with are years dead. He knows the Chitauri still seek him out for retribution, to make him beg for something as sweet as death, and he knows that Thor is probably the only one in all of the nine realms who has forgiven him.

Hugging Thor won't change anything, and neither will the familiar feeling of safety that being close to Thor brings, but right now it's just what Loki needs, and that is enough.


End file.
